The dull always seek to be clever at the fool's expense, to somehow repay him for his cutting wit, but never are they clever, and often they are cruel.
Cry havoc, and let slip the trousers of most outrageous bonkilation!
The funeral was held at St. Mary's Catherdral of San Francisco, which has the distinction of being the only church in the world designed after a washing-machine agitator.
While Alpha Males are often gifted with superior physical attributes—size, strength, speed, good looks—selected by evolution over the eons by the strongest surviving and, essentially, getting all the...
Tuck watched the sun bubble into the ocean. Columns of vertical cumulus clouds turned to cones of pink cotton candy, then as the sun became a red wafer on the horizon, they turned candy-apple red, wit...
Every time you smell peaches, a ghost just got his rocks off.
Funny how the illusion of safety can make us careless.
So, there on the front step, he decided to go with total hysteria. He started breathing hard, pumping up some tears, got a good whimpering sob going, then opened the door with a dieseling back sniffle...
When it appeared that even the most passive-aggressive attempts would not work, Charlie resorted to the ultimate Beta Male Attack, which was to tolerate Alvin and Mohammed's presence, but to resent th...
In the blink of an eye my beauty becomes but a feast for worms, and I, a forgotten sigh in a sea of nothingness.
I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.
I would not have Drool reading Cicero or crafting clever riddles, but under my tutelage he had become more than fair at tumbling and juggling, could belch a song, and was, at court, at least as entert...
Il mattino dopo, il primo pensiero di Tuck fu: Ho un aereo da prendere. Il secondo: ho il cazzo rotto.Succede. Hai un'irritazione intima - emorroidi, crampi mestruali, malattie veneree, la vescica inf...
I’m Asian. She wasn’t Asian, but there would be a metric fuckload of Asian girls on the bridge for him to think were her. Ten minutes. Don’t jump, okay?
We can’t go home, Joshua said at last. I don’t know enough yet. No, said Gaspar, I suspect that you don’t. But you know all that you will learn here. If you come to a river and find a boat at the edge...
Mankind, I suppose, is designed to run on - to be motivated by - temptation. If progress is a virtue then this is our greatest gift. (For what is curiosity if not intellectual temptation? And what pro...
You love your wars for the coffers, but for the warrior and the widow, the orphan and the owned, you’ve not two dry fucks to give.
Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging
Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair..
Raziel! Go forth into the land and lay waste unto two good-size Wal-Marts, slay until blood doth flow from all bargains and all the buildings are but rubble — and pick up a few Snickers bars for yours...
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