Oh, I would while away the hours,Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song,I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie,If I only had a schlong.
Oh, and a huge Federal Building that looked like it was being molested by a giant steel pterodactyl, but evidently that was just the government trying to get away from their standard bomb shelter arch...
Son, I’ma tell you something ain’t nobody else in the world can tell you: you got no soul. And I’ma tell your future, too: you ain’t never gonna get a soul, you keep makin’ people’s shit small. Evan’s...
The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
This is the Marina. This is where you go between the fraternity or sorority house and your first divorce. Look around, except for our waitress, who I guarantee doesn’t live in this neighborhood, it’s...
Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair..
Okay, the kingdom is like a monkey. Joshua was hoarse and his voice was breaking. How? A Jewish monkey, right? Is it like a monkey eating a mustard seed? I stood up and went to Joshua and put my arm a...
Okey dokey, fire up the blender, let's make a furry-flurry smoothie out of that squirrel!
[...] Y'know, the Duchess Regan is living here at the tower now? I took your advice about not talking about her boffnacity [footnote], even with the duke dead and all, can't be too careful. Although,...
This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
One can't be free without action.
One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he g...
One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
Tú haces lo mismo, intentas reconciliar a todas las madres que ha sido mamá: la que querías que fuera, la que era cuando la necesitabas y estaba ahí, la que era cuando no te entendía. . . La mayoría d...
What’s a Mennonite? Vance asked. Amish with blenders.
Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live. If
Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.
So, there on the front step, he decided to go with total hysteria. He started breathing hard, pumping up some tears, got a good whimpering sob going, then opened the door with a dieseling back sniffle...
Out came an extraordinarily complex network of plastic, brass, and stainless-steel tubing, which in seconds Kona had assembled into what Quinn thought was either a very small and elegant linear partic...
The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The
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