So I like slept till eleven, because we’re on Christmas break, only it’s called winter break now because Jesus is AN OPPRESSIVE ZOMBIE BASTARD AND WE DO NOT BOW DOWN TO HIS BIRTHDAY! At least not at A...
She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
She looked like she was being towed through the store by two submarines, said Simon. Major hooters, said Troy Lee. Major-league hooters. Tommy said, Can’t you guys see more in a woman than T and A? No...
Senti, abbiamo delle specie di regole qui. Indicò il cartello sul bancone. NIENTE CAMICIA O NIENTE SCARPE, NIENTE SERVIZIO.Molly abbassò lo sguardo su di sé. «Oh dio, me le sono scordate».«É tutto a p...
Rum, said Kona. Too much hostility in dat buzz. Rum come from da cane, and cane come from slavin’ the people, and dat oppression all distilled in de bottle and come out a man mean as cat shit on a day...
Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn't sure her...
Perhaps I’ll call it Luncheon on the Grass, then, said Manet. Since I’ve clearly forgotten to paint the model wet enough.
Out came an extraordinarily complex network of plastic, brass, and stainless-steel tubing, which in seconds Kona had assembled into what Quinn thought was either a very small and elegant linear partic...
Oh, and a huge Federal Building that looked like it was being molested by a giant steel pterodactyl, but evidently that was just the government trying to get away from their standard bomb shelter arch...
Oh, I get it, I said. It's a parable. Cute. Let's go eat.
Of course they won't bloody remember, they'll be dead.' Then she called him a name in a dead language that translated, roughly, to 'poop on a stick,' but sounded more succinct, like this: 'Of course t...
Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....
No. Trust me, you have to leave me now so you won't later. I'll see you again.
My kingdom for a razor-blade cowcatcher and Cuisinart wheel covers to cut my path through this herd of ignorant peasant meat, she thought. Then: Whoa, I guess I really do need the meds.
Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.
Losers can only flourish until a dominant species appears
Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised i...
Latin, Greek, and English, plus a smattering of Italian and fucking French. Fucking French, you say? Well . . . Oui, said I, in perfect fucking French.
La voce di Jake si perdeva come il suono di un kazoo nella galleria del vento.
Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's the gist of...