“ The tradition of putting candles on Christmas trees actually began in Germany. The person who came up with the idea is thought to have been Martin Luther, father of the Reformation. Christopher Buckley
“ Nothing raises the national temperature more than a VACANCY sign hanging from the colonnaded front of the Supreme Court. Christopher Buckley
“ You can't tell what's aboard a container ship. We carried every kind of cargo, all of it on view: a police car, penicillin, Johnnie Walker Red, toilets, handguns, lumber, Ping-Pong balls, and IBM data… Christopher Buckley
“ I hope when I'm on my deathbed, people forgive me, because there is a lot to forgive. Christopher Buckley
“ How many times had those awful words - I know what I'm doing - been uttered throughout history as prelude to disaster? Christopher Buckley
“ But why would I give my watch, my precious watch and fob, to a—Russian who-re? Two Russian who-res. Perhaps to avoid being beaten to death by two very large Russian pimps. Christopher Buckley
“ I live on a train. I know - what a sad thing to admit. I am the New-Age Willy Loman. But there it is. Christopher Buckley
“ I love Washington. I have an affection for the place. For a satirist, I think it's sort of Disneyland. I mean, you know, there's always some inspiration in the morning's headlines. Christopher Buckley
“ In our corrupt times, the virtue of a Pontiff is commended when he does not surpass the wickedness of other men. —Francesco Guicciardini, History of Italy, 1561 Christopher Buckley
“ I looked at Mum and realized -- -- that she was telling an untruth. A untruth. And I remember thinking in that instant how thrilling and grown-up it must be to say something so untrue, as opposed t… Christopher Buckley
“ My dad's one true quest in life was for the Platonic ideal of peanut butter. And I remember one day he announced, with a look of utter transfiguration on his face, that he had found paradise on Earth… Christopher Buckley
“ How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to mix the martinis, one to change the light bulb, and one to reminisce about how good the old one was. Christopher Buckley
“ So we’ve gone from ‘Don’t trust anyone over thirty’ to ‘Don’t drink any Scotch under thirty’? Is this what’s become of your revolution? Christopher Buckley
“ It was—unthinkable: three of the most powerful men in Europe—the world—the Pope, the Emperor Maximilian, and Albrecht—all wanted Luther tied to a stake and burned. Yet each time they reached out to li… Christopher Buckley
