Still the congenitally clueless—tourists and locals alike—continue to flop into the Gulf and mess with these phenomenal creatures, dooming them to a future of begging, sloth, and worse. A dolphin that...
Still doing divorces? Al Garcia asked. Here and there. Keyes hated to admit it, but that’s what covered the rent: he’d gotten damn good at staking out nooner motels with his three-hundred-millimeter N...
Soon enough it was explained to Buck Nance that Key West was a bad location to be making fun of homosexuals, and also African-Americans. This bulletin was delivered by a 275-pound biker who happened t...
So that's your man? The 'talent' you manage?''He had a bad night.' Coolman said tightly.Merry cackled. 'A bad night? The dude's a total homophobe! Also a bigot!''There's a culture gap, that's all.''No...
Only because you’re injured, she said, and kissed him again. He pulled her close. How’s this going to work with all these stitches? Do I have to keep standing? Well, whispered Rosa, I suppose you coul...
One spring evening in 1896, a prominent Pennsylvanian named Hamilton Disston blew his brains out in a bathtub. He had become gravely depressed after depleting his inheritance on a grandiose campaign t...
Malcolm J. Moldowsky could see the ugliness unfolding. It would take all his subterranean talents to save the sugar bill, and he couldn't do it if Dilbeck got caught in a sex scandal. After years of s...
It was inevitable that the poacher and the counterfeiter would bond, sharing as they did a blanket contempt for government, taxes, homosexuals, immigrants, minorities, gun laws, assertive women and ho...
It occurred to Yancy that, in the time they’d known each other, he hadn’t once seen her look at her cell phone. She never texted, tweeted, Facebooked, Instagrammed, or posted a single picture when the...
I took all your columns from the last four months, Mulcahy said, and I gave them to Dr. Courtney, the psychiatrist. Jesus! He’s a wacko, Cab. The guy has a thing for animals. I’ve heard this from sev...
I fell down the stairs. What happened to your hair? Raven’s face purpled. I don’t know what you mean.
From the bow of the canoe she asked, Do you know a rain dance?First I need a virgin.
Eugenie Fonda sat on the balcony of her sixth-floor room, fanning her freshly painted toes and watching the sun melt like sorbet into the Gulf of Mexico. Her third Bacardi was sweating cool droplets t...
Ellis dutifully opens the top half of the bisected lid... and there's Jimmy Stoma. All things considered, he looks pretty darn spiffy. Better, in fact, than he did on some of his album covers. He's so...
Drink your milk,
Carla Crumworthy, heiress to the Crumworthy panty-shield fortune. She had come to complain about the collagen injections that Rudy Graveline had administered to give her full, sensual lips, which is j...
Car salesman turned governor. How it fried Dick Artemus to hear himself described like that--the snotty implication being that all car salesman were cagey and duplicitous, unworthy of holding public o...
Burnout is common because of the long hours, the crummy pay and the depressing nature of so much of what we write. As the saying goes, they never send us to the airport when the plane lands safely.
Buck’s girlfriend went by the porny name of Miracle though she had a master’s in computer science from Florida State.
As he was pulled underwater for the final time, terror gave way to abject humiliation: he was being fucked to death by a damn fish.