If life was fair ... one third of the people would comprise of judges and lawyers ... one third of police and prison officials ... and one third of legislators ... and one third more to make the other...
Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories.
I'm all groan up in America.
When to others it's not lying. It's privacy.
Ignorance is bliss. Wisdom is blisters.
All surgery and no makeup make Jack a dull girl.
Nostalgia was never what it used to be.
You can't stop a man from stopping himself.
Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to an...
He who laughs last laughs ... doesn't get it.
When all seems hopeless, cross your fingers and stick with the secular prayer.
Spare the rod and spoil the Memorial Day rotisserie.
With good morality first candidates you'll get bad candor, bad ethics, bad loyalty and bad morality - lastly bad odor will surface to save the day if you maintain good optimism like I do.
We contradict all for which we stand for we all stand for the lie the whole lie and nothing but the lie so help save our lying asses.
Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear so don't look and they'll stay farther away than you expect they would.
I'm nostalgic for a better tomorrow.
They safely cured the world of sadness, wiser the Pfizer for it?
All porn stars on Animal Farm are equal but some porn scenes are more unequal than others.
A bind is when you're quadriplegic, suicidal about that and unable to persuade your best friend to murder you.
Our archaeological ancestry lost hair while growing sweat glands to reduce panting in the hot African sun. One outcome evolved the origin of our speech. Another conquered our ability to shut the hell...
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