If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you j...
I should be doing my homework now. But the way I look at it, playing in the snow is a lot more important. Out here I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life.- Such as?-...
I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell...
Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
Don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you'll either get run over or shot!
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the opposit...
Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding.
But for my own example, I'd never believe one little kid could have so much brains!
As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
Watcha doin'?Looking for frogs.
The center snaps the ball to the quarterback!No he doesn't!He doesn't?NO! Secretly, he's the quarterback for the other team! He keeps the ball!A traitor!Calvin breaks for the goal.Wheeee! He's at the...
My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. ~ Calvin
I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.