“ Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads. Andy Rooney
“ Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney
“ Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants… Andy Rooney
“ The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Andy Rooney
“ It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney
“ People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. Andy Rooney
“ The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. Andy Rooney
“ Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. Andy Rooney
“ One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. Andy Rooney
“ The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often re… Andy Rooney
“ I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. Andy Rooney
“ Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives. Andy Rooney
