Girls like you want to cut guy's nuts off and hang 'em from your rearview mirror.

I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in ord...

As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.

Step up to red alert."Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb." - Rimmer & Kryten, "Red Dwarf

People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

Money's scarceTimes are hardHere's your fuckingXmas card

Tonight sucks. And look at me. Look at - look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears e...

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

I don't care how much you eat, Ender, self-cannibalism won't get you out of this school.

I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

I promise to pay you before you die - but you have to promise not to die.

I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.

Would I serve you or (Prince) Jon stolen goods? he asked. "No, don't answer me.

I don't want to be a genius-I have enough problems just trying to be a man.

There's one thing you don't put in a trap, if you're smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never ever put in a trap.And what...

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.

Half my life is an act of revision.

If every vampire who said he was at The Crucifixion, was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock . . .

Get back in my cot, girl," said Gilsa. "You're sickly."No, I'm not," said Ani.Oh, no? Well, maybe stubbornness is a sickness, did you ever think of that?