“ The scientific method is nothing more than a system of rules to keep us from lying to each other. Ken Norris
“ My children are monsters, Kiro thought. And I am responsible. Perhaps if I had read them the haikus of Basho when they were little instead of that American manifesto of high-pressure sales, Green Eggs… Christopher Moore
“ My name, said Mr. Fresh.Pardon? Charlie stopped tying himself up.I dress in mint green because of my first name. It's Minty. Christopher Moore
“ So, like, the master needed a hand, if you know what I mean, so I was like, Oh chill, it's a stress thing, everyone does it. I'm flicking the bean under the table right now just to dial the tension ba… Christopher Moore
“ Inspector, there's no smoking allowed in here, said a uniformed officer who had been called to the scene.Cavuto waved to the drawers [at the morgue]. Do you think they mind?The officer shook his head.… Christopher Moore
“ Kayso, Foo finally came home and I jumped into his arms and sort of rode him to the ground with a massive tongue kiss so deep that I could taste the burned cinnamon toast of his soul, but then I slapp… Christopher Moore
“ She had a lot of nerve signing her note Love. [...] But she sign it that way: Love. What did that mean? Did she mean it, or was it habit? She probably signed all of her letters with Love. Maybe not. Christopher Moore
“ She have to go pick up prescription, so I watch Sophie for short time. And tiny bears are happy when I go in bathroom.Hamsters, Mrs. Korjev, not bears. .... I've got her now, Charlie said. One of you… Christopher Moore
“ Si crees que todo el mundo está bien de la azotea es que no conoces a la gente que te rodea. La clave, y esto es muy relevante en nuestro caso, es encontrar a alguien cuya locura encaje con la tuya. Christopher Moore
“ Pervy redundant, don't you think? I asked the big gay cop, who wouldn't know a va-jay-jay if it bounced up to him and sang the Star-Spangled Banner. (You ever notice that hardly anything besides the… Christopher Moore
“ Tommy moved on. Lash, your people have been oppressed for hundreds of years. It's time to strike back. Look, you don't have your MBA yet - they haven't completely juiced you of your usefulness yet. Wo… Christopher Moore
“ [in reference to turkey bowling] He [Tommy] squinted and picked his target, then took his steps and sent the bird sliding down the aisle. A collective gasp rose from the crew as the fourteen-pound, se… Christopher Moore
“ [...]I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir… Christopher Moore
“ [Abby to Tommy and Jody who are hugging]So I'm like, Cold-faced killers on the clock, bitches, we don't have time for your bonery right now.--The Chronicles of Abby Normal Christopher Moore
“ Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff.--Being th… Christopher Moore
