I told him God didn’t invent grocery stores. He told me that I had no proof of this, and wouldn’t I feel stupid when I died and went to heaven and saw God’s Food Mart? I told him that was a dumb name...
If I ever catch you performing ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen, I’ll castrate you and feed your dicks to some horses.
It started when I was a kid. I would pout and people would give me things like burritos or baseball cards. Then I got older and people would try and give me sex instead, and I just wanted another burr...
It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't think the world could handle such an explosion of amazingness. So instead of letting me ge...
Joe sang the loudest of all. He said, you belong to me.
Minutes later I am discovering what it’s like to be driven by a woman who thinks the world will end if she doesn’t keep the gas pedal firmly against the floor and that apparently there’s no such thing...
Mom said, He didn’t want to sleep with you so he knocked you through a building? That’s rude. He could have just moved on.
Morgan said, And what have you brought me?Something unexpected, Sam said proudly.You return from the wilds with a half-giant and a unicorn, Morgan said. That is unexpected.But the boy shook his head....
My love! Kevin said. You must rise. Get up! Get up so far into the future, we can meet and I can go to your bakery and eat the royal hell out of your croissants!
NICK HAPPENED a year later. He came in to Gordo’s all dusty from the road. The clutch on his bike had blown out a few miles outside of Green Creek. He stayed for a week. I fucked him on the last three...
NIGHT, I dreamt of him. He was waiting for me on the dirt road, the sun filtering through the leaves, little splashes of light on the ground like puddles of rippling water. He smiled so brightly as I...
Non so come mettermi a posto, sussurro. Non voglio più essere così. Non voglio avere paura. Non voglio dover tornare qui.
Our eyes met like a car crash, colliding and breaking away.
Please let it be known that from this day forward my working title for the business is now 'Queen of the Fuck Palace!
Queens, Charlie muttered. Can’t live with them, can’t shoot them because it would get glitter everywhere.
Roses surrounded the raven, thorns wrapping around its talons. Runes and archaic symbols stretched along my forearms: Romanian, Sumerian, Gaelic. An amalgamation of all those who had come before me. M...
Saying goodbye is rough. I think I told you once that goodbye sounds so stupid and final and blah, blah, blah. But I was younger then. I didn’t know what I know now. Roads can diverge. It’s tough but...
Sorry, he muttered as he pulled it away. Sure, I said faintly. Sure. I wondered how to go about asking him to poke me with his sword again.
That’s a federal crime, I told him. Punishable by three to five years in a minimum-security prison. You’ll get passed around like condiments at a barbeque. My hole is already quivering, he said.
There are things more important in this world than where I come from. And that's where I'm going.
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