“ There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles And somewhere near the middle was the Citrus Tower, which the tourists climbed to see even more orange… Tim Dorsey
“ But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. Without the good kind- less flavor to life. Van Gogh, Beethoven, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Pink… Tim Dorsey
“ Don't make fun of people who are different. Unless they have more money and influence. Then you must Tim Dorsey
“ An hour earlier, the occupants of the Lotus had come out of a bookstore/coffeehouse across the street, where Carl Hiaasen was autographing stacks of green books. Tim Dorsey
“ Dear friends and enemies, Season’s greetings! It’s me, Serge! Don’t you just hate these form letters people stuff in Christmas cards? Nothing screams you’re close to my heart like a once-a-year Xerox.… Tim Dorsey
“ An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and… Tim Dorsey
“ Do you think heaven's like that?Could be worse, said Serge. You know all those pushy people who keep telling us we're not going to heaven? It could be full of them instead. Tim Dorsey
“ Serge nodded. 'And I respect your opinion because you smoke marijuana. You're chemically biased against violence and job applications. Tim Dorsey
“ First, they set the hook with mind-bending kinky shit. Then a year later you're living in a Talking Heads song, dressed like Teddy Ruxpin, living with a strange woman in a big house full of frilly thr… Tim Dorsey
“ Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work. Tim Dorsey
