All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
ALWAYS REMEMBER that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.
A unicorn is nothing more than a big horse that comes to a point, anyway. Nothing to get so excited about.
A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.
They wore their hair long like a poet who hopes that romantically flowing locks will make up for a wretched inability to find a rhyme for daffodil.
And the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.
Plants on the disc, while including the categories known commonly as annuals, which were sown this year to come up later this year, biennials, sown this year to grow next year, and perennials, sown th...
The queen appeared as innocent as one of those mountains which smoke a little, and then one day end up causing a whole civilization to become an art installation
But what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich...
[T]he princesses were beautiful as the day is long and so noble they, they could pee through a dozen mattresses
[...] the awesome splendor of the universe is much easier to deal with if you think of it as a series of small chunks.
You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick.
You were a wizard. What caused all that?I think it was probably an inexplicable phenomenon, said Windle. There’s a lot of them about, for some reason. I wish I knew why.
You needed at least three witches for a coven. Two witches was just an argument.
You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked for long. All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.
You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. Besides you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and gi...
You can either be on the stage, just a performer, just going through the lines... or you can be outside it, and know how the script works, where the scenery hangs, and where the trapdoors are.
Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.
Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word commence in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say Enter, don't stop to...
Whut's the plan, Rob? said one of them. Okay, lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll attack it. Right?This caused a cheer.Ach, 'tis a good plan, said Daft Wullie.