Terry Pratchett Quotes

His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.

How do you get all those coins? asked Mort.IN PAIRS.

I SEE THE GIRL WRITES IN GREEN CRAYON ON PINK PAPER WITH A MOUSE IN THE CORNER. THE MOUSE IS WEARING A DRESS.'I ought to point out that she decided to do that so the Hogfather would think she was swee...

I THINK NOT. I WASN'T CUT OUT TO BE A FATHER, AND CERTAINLY NOT A GRANDAD. I HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT KIND OF KNEES.

I THINK... I THINK I COULD BE FRIENDS WITH THE GREEN BOTTLE.

I don't regret it, you know. I would do it all again. Children are our hope for the future.THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THE FUTURE, said Death.What does it contain, then?ME.

I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people.

I have certainly noticed that groups of clever and intelligent people are capable of really stupid ideas.

I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!

I nearly committed a terrible sin, said Brutha. I nearly ate fruit on a fruitless day.That's a terrible thing, a terrible thing, said Om. Now cut the melon.

I tell you, commander, it's true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that they're doing it for the best, especially if there is some god i...

I thought unicorns were more . . . Fluffy.

I want to eat chocolates in a great big room where the world is a different place.

I would like permission to fetch a note from my mother, sir' Ridcully sighed. 'Rincewind, you once informed me, to my everlasting puzzlement, that you never knew your mother because she ran away befor...

I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!

I'd better say at the start that I don't actually believe in magic any more than I believe in astrology, because I'm a Taurean and we don't go in for all that weirdo occult stuff.

I'm sure you won't dream of trying to escape from your obligations by fleeing the city...''I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord.''Indeed? Then if I were you I'd sue my face for sl...

I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid,...

IN MY EXPERIENCE, SUSAN, WITHIN THEIR HEADS TOO MANY HUMANS SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN THE MIDDLE OF WARS THAT HAPPENED CENTURIES AGO.

IT WASN’T A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. It should have been, but that’s the weather for you. For every mad scientist who’s had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lyi...