Susan Cain Quote

The conference is geared to people who enjoy meaningful discussions and sometimes move a conversation to a deeper level, only to find out we are the only ones there. . . . When it's my turn, I talk about how I've never been in a group environment in which I didn't feel obliged to present an unnaturally rah-rah version of myself. . . .Scientists can easily report on the behavior of extroverts, who can often be found laughing, talking, or gesticulating. But if a person is standing in the corner of a room, you can attribute about fifteen motivations to that person. But you don't really know what's going on inside. . . .So what is the inner behavior of people whose most visible feature is that when you take them to a party they aren't very pleased about it? . . .The highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They often describe themselves as creative or intuitive . . . . They dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day. They love music, nature, art, physical beauty. They feel exceptionally strong emotions--sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear.Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments--both physical and emotional--unusually deeply. They tend to notice subtleties that others miss--another person's shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly. . . .[Inside fMRI machines], the sensitive people were processing the photos at a more elaborate level than their peers . . . . It may also help explain why they're so bored by small talk. If you're thinking in more complicated ways, she told me, then talking about the weather or where you went for the holidays is not quite as interesting as talking about values or morality.The other thing Aron found about sensitive people is that sometimes they're highly empathic. It's as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people's emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. They tend to have unusually strong consciences. They avoid violent movies and TV shows; they're acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior. In social settings they often focus on subjects like personal problems, which others consider too heavy.