“ I closed my eyes under the fluroescent lights and tried to make another birthday wish, a onetime do-over, a rebate, a trade-in on the kitchen sink kiss that started everything, offered up for just one… Sarah Ockler
“ Hey. What did you do to your - I mean, you look different." My cheeks go immediately hot. Not that your average onlooker can tell, given all the makeup I'm wearing. "Frankie and I were just messing ar… Sarah Ockler
“ The guilt of not telling Frankie about Matt and me is overwhelming, but it's a pale second to the violation I feel that she read my most private, raw thoughts and destroyed them. She broke into my car… Sarah Ockler
“ Have some carrots. They're good for your eyes.""Then you have some fries. They're good for your... I don't know. They're just good. Sarah Ockler
“ Right after Matt died, I was afraid to do basically everything. I couldn’t even bite my nails or sniff my shirt to see if I needed deodorant without feeling like he was watching me. I willed and praye… Sarah Ockler
“ I'm sorry. For all of us. Sorry for all the little ways the people who were supposed to love us most could hurt us so deeply, despite their shared heritage and blood, as thought their knowledge of our… Sarah Ockler
“ And in this moment of pale dawn in the hours before we leave California, I finally realize what has been the hardest thing for me about Matt’s death. It isn’t that I lost a brother, like Frankie, or a… Sarah Ockler
“ It seemed everything that had ever lived and died in this world had passed through here, had left its indelible imprint. Sarah Ockler
“ There was no going back to the way things were, because all you ever got was the way things are. Sarah Ockler
“ Beneath the vast diamond sky, I felt both all important and utterly significant, the goddess and the damned in equal measure. Sarah Ockler
“ This boy wore the ocean in his eyes, green-gray-blue, ever shifting, and I recognized him immediately. Knew before he said another word that he was as dangerous as he was beautiful. Sarah Ockler
“ Through pictures, we cut reality in pieces. We selected only the choicest moments, discarding the rest as if they'd never happened. Sarah Ockler
“ Sorry.” I’m surprised and glad she doesn’t recognize it. I run my thumb back and forth over a crusty bit on the shoulder strap as a five-second version of the cake fight flashes behind my eyes like a… Sarah Ockler
“ They tear each other apart. Sometimes there aren't any happy endings or logical explanations and we just have to accept that and move on. Sometimes it really is that simple. Sarah Ockler
“ You ask me why I’m nice to you,” he said. “Why, why, why. But you don’t ask me stuff that matters. Who I am or where I been. What I see when I look at you. What I want. Sarah Ockler
“ Frankie Perino and I were lucky that day. Lucky to be alive-that's what everyone said. Sarah Ockler
“ I'm still dropping dishes thinking in slow motion about the GPS woman in Mom's car. I imagine her beckoning me from outside the kitchen window illuminated like some robot-angel calling me forth to the… Sarah Ockler
