Perhaps, all writers walk such a line. In general - as we all do in our dreams - I believe I put something of myself into all the characters in my novels, male as well as female.
In the planning stage of a book, don't plan the ending. It has to be earned by all that will go before it.
There's the trick: to find the way - whether forwards or back - to what we long to be.
Life is not a dress rehearsal.