If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.
The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write...
People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.