The thing you have to understand about Lucifer is that he hardly ever talks, and when he does, it's never much more than a whisper. When half the universe is hanging on to your every word, you don't h...
That's how you know someone likes you. Anyone can give you chocolate and flowers, but when they'll disembowel someone for you? That's true love.
So now here I am, bouncing along in a truck with concrete shocks surrounded by a Hellion legion that smells like a fish-market Dumpster. I’m not usually the dragged-along-for-the-ride type. Usually, I...
Seriously, I don’t like people messing with old ladies. Mi madre had cancer and gave all her Social Security money to a faith healer. What happened? He gave her a homeopathic cure and she felt better....
It’s not something you think about, it just happens. You fall into the orbit of friends and familiar faces. You don’t even have to like each other. You just have to be there to remind each other that...
It could have been ten. What’s that mean? It’s a Hellion joke. When God threw them from Heaven, they fell for nine days, so when everything goes to shit you say… …It could have been ten.
I whisper some hoodoo and put on the glamour I used last night. Again, Sinclair and the roaches are startled. To Sandoval’s credit, she just looks me over like she’s selecting which lobster in the tan...
I say, This Nazi Disneyland stuff, it’s too cheap and easy. It’s like something the Kissi would dream up. That’s hitting below the belt. Calling a Hellion a Kissi is like calling Chuck Norris Joseph S...
How do you explain to someone that you understand their fear, then convince them that it’s going to be all right? In my experience, the more you talk about what scares them, the worse it gets. There’s...
Fuck this place and fuck your games. This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us...
Fuck me. I’m a rock star. And all I really wanted was a burrito.
For a second, nothing happens and I’m sure that I’ve reached a new level of fucked. Then the hardpack around the rib shatters and I haul it out of the ground like a deranged Fred Flintstone.
But these days, I’m working on the theory that killing everyone I don’t like might be counterproductive.
Black magic on Earth isn't so different and it's why so many dark magicians dress like cashiers at Hot Topic. Black is a good color anytime you're flinging around blood.
Anyway, there’s nothing at all humiliating about clutching ten pounds of ice like your firstborn while the damn bag leaks all over your crotch so it looks like you pissed yourself with joy. I crack op...
And if I do live, I don’t know if my body is ever going to be right again. I mean, even if I figure out what Ludovico’s Ellicit is and get cured, I might look like Freddy Krueger’s foreskin forever.
You don't have to be afraid of me. Eugene likes you. Doc likes you. That means I like you. We're all family now. All the funny little people who live in the cracks of the world.
When she leaves I look from Daja to the Magistrate. I think your pet monkey is getting tired. Why don’t you throw it a banana and send it home?
Traven walks away as a stream of havoc members come by to pat me on the back, punch my arm, and shake my hand. I smile and nod like it’s the Oscars and I just won Best Supporting Asshole.
The downside to jackrabbit reflexes is that while they get you out of the way of obvious and imminent danger, when you're going forty miles an hour on your front wheel, those reflexes will simply laun...