When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.
What are the chances of a cobra biting Harold, Jeeves?Slight, I should imagine, sir. And in such an event, knowing the boy as intimately as I do, my anxiety would be entirely for the snake.
To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
Those who know Bertram Wooster best are aware that he is a man of sudden, strong enthusiasms and that, when in the grip of one of these, he becomes a remorseless machine—tense, absorbed, single-minded...
This woman always made Freddie feel as if he were being disembowelled by some clumsy amateur.
They’re soul mates. She has about as much brain as a retarded billiards ball, and he approximately the same.
These dreamer types do live, don't they?
The funny thing was that he wasn't altogether a fool in other ways. Deep down in him there was a kind of stratum of sense. I had known him, once or twice, show an almost human intelligence. But to rea...
The drowsy stillness of the summer afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.
One glance at the girl convinced R. Jones that he had been right. Circumstances had made him a rapid judge of character, for in profession of living by one's wits in a large city, the first principle...
Just as you say, sir. There is a letter on the tray, sir.By Jove, Jeeves, that was practically potry. Rhymed, did you notice?
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
I knew a man once who stammered, said Jimmy. He used to chew dog biscuit while he was speaking. It cured him. Besides being nutritious.
He was always inclined to read a fictitious sombreness into things when the shadows began to creep over the world and it was still too early for a cocktail.
He made a noise like a pig swallowing half a cabbage,
Don't leave me, Bertie. I'm lost.What do you mean, lost?I came out for a walk and suddenly discovered after a mile or two that I didn't know where on earth I was. I've been wandering round in circles...
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
...writing Jeeves stories gives me a great deal of pleasure and keeps me out of the public houses.
There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met.