P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

It may work, Jeeves. It is, at least, worth trying. I shall now leave you, to prepare myself for the ordeal before me with silent meditation.’ ‘Your tea will be here in a moment, sir.’ ‘No, Jeeves. Th...

It would seem to be an inexorable law of Nature that no man shall shine at both ends. If he has a high forehead and a thirst for wisdom, his fox-trotting (if any) shall be as the staggerings of the dr...

It’s one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor—and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that. ‘It’s no good trying to get Bertie to take the slightest in...

I shoved on a dressing-gown, and flew downstairs like a mighty, rushing wind.

I see. Before you fell a victim to the feverish desire for reckless speculation which is so marked a characteristic of the American business man, what?

I say! he said. Are you broke?Nelly laughed.

Aunt Agatha is my tough aunt, the one who eats broken bottles and conducts human sacrifices by the light of the full moon.

I ordered another. If this was going to be a fish-story, I needed stimulants.On the liner going to New York I met a girl. Biffy made a sort of curious gulping noise not unlike a bulldog trying to swal...

I knew a man once who stammered, said Jimmy. He used to chew dog biscuit while he was speaking. It cured him. Besides being nutritious.

No burglar wastes his time burgling authors.

Personally I couldn't manage it. I don't think I ever saw a child who made me feel less sentimental. He was one of those round, bulging kids.

Fine figure of a young fellow as far northwards as the neck, but above that solid concrete.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The drowsy stillness of the summer afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.

The last few minutes of waiting in a cupboard are always the hardest.

He picked up one of the dead bats and covered it with his handkerchief. ‘Somebody’s mother,’ he murmured reverently.

Those who know Bertram Wooster best are aware that he is a man of sudden, strong enthusiasms and that, when in the grip of one of these, he becomes a remorseless machine—tense, absorbed, single-minded...

Too often when a publisher entertains an author at the midday meal a rather sombre note tinges the table talk. The host is apt to sigh a good deal and to choose as the theme of his remarks the hardnes...

Всяко нещо струва толкова, за колкото може да се купи.

He scattered his aitches as a fountain its sprays in a strong wind. He was very earnest.