I laughed because, as everyone knows, laughing is a great way to disguise heavy breathing.
I laugh thinking about if they ever tried to do Who Wore It Best? for men’s magazines. They wouldn’t, because no one would care. Men don’t care which men looked better in the same clothes because it’s...
I know a small part of you thinks you could’ve ended up with Natalie Portman if you had played things a little differently. That’s nice. You can have that. That’s not hurting anybody.
I have the opposite of a dry sense of humor, so I’m always impressed by it. My sense of humor is wet and loud and risqué, like topless day at the water park.
I have a comedy writer friend, Sandy, whose husband left her for another woman the moment his restaurant (which Sandy had invested in and made possible) became successful. It was kind of the worst sto...
I had placed a lot of faith in Woody Allen’s belief that 80 percent of success is just showing up. I said to myself: Sure, I can just Here I am, New York! Give me a job!
I guess the lesson is that if you’re going to punch someone in the face, your best bet is to punch your best friend.
I find it extremely impossible not to cry when I hear Stevie Nicks’s Landslide, especially the lyric: I’ve been afraid of changing, because I’ve built my life around you. I think a good test to see if...
I do not need to hear people tearing into Lisa Lampanelli for liking to have sex only with black men. I’m sad that this is her famous running gag. I’m sad that I now know this. I’m sad that a legitima...
I discovered that kids hate for any food to resemble the form it originally was in nature. They are on to something because that processed garbage was insanely delicious.
I am so accustomed to the young mom phenomenon, that when I saw the poster for The Proposal I wondered for a second if the proposal in the movie was Ryan Reynolds suggesting he send his mother, Sandra...
Hugh was in prime Jackman when he played smoldering Van Helsing.
He had some very specific notes he wanted me to address. The notes were about making sure that the character of Danny Castellano was strong and masculine. He didn’t want my character to outsmart him a...
Have you ever used your neighbor’s Wi-Fi when it wasn’t on a password? If you have the opportunity to observe someone at work, you are getting mentoring out of them even if they are unaware or resista...
Guys I’ve dated have been into me the way I am; and (4) I’m pretty happy with the way I look, so long as I don’t break a beach chair.
Full-on All-Night Sex-a-thon is also the name of my debut hip-hop album.
For heaven’s sake, if you don’t know someone’s name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, Nice to see you! and make weak eye contact.
Every kid wants approval, but my desire to be well liked was central to my personality.
Edward Albee, our greatest living playwright, American treasure, who watched Doubt from beginning to end and loved it, all while a bored B. J. Novak slept on him.
Did I think I deserved a nomination? I don't know, yeah! Maybe it sounds egotistical, but if you're a person who creates your own show and stars in it, shouldn't you believe you deserve recognition fo...