If Europe could figure out a way to do the euro, I feel confident we can do this.
I want you to picture me as a cute little anime character that popped out from behind a mushroom or something and landed in Hollywood.
I think widespread, online displays of female self-confidence are good for people, especially men, to see.
I think it’s a federal crime parking meters won’t accept pennies. Yeah, government, we know pennies suck. But you made them! You have to accept them!
I have the opposite of a dry sense of humor, so I’m always impressed by it. My sense of humor is wet and loud and risqué, like topless day at the water park.
I had placed a lot of faith in Woody Allen’s belief that 80 percent of success is just showing up. I said to myself: Sure, I can just Here I am, New York! Give me a job!
I guess the lesson is that if you’re going to punch someone in the face, your best bet is to punch your best friend.
I discovered that kids hate for any food to resemble the form it originally was in nature. They are on to something because that processed garbage was insanely delicious.
I am so accustomed to the young mom phenomenon, that when I saw the poster for The Proposal I wondered for a second if the proposal in the movie was Ryan Reynolds suggesting he send his mother, Sandra...
However, you should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now? Another old saying is...
For heaven’s sake, if you don’t know someone’s name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, Nice to see you! and make weak eye contact.
Every kid wants approval, but my desire to be well liked was central to my personality.
Edward Albee, our greatest living playwright, American treasure, who watched Doubt from beginning to end and loved it, all while a bored B. J. Novak slept on him.
Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys bring a knapsack to work. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who totally knows how to cut hair. Boys can pack up their w...
At the age of six, the criteria for handsome was simply: Is he not related to me? and Have I seen him on television? That was it. By this standard, Larry Bird, Dick Clark, and Andy Rooney. All handsom...
As it is, I guess I find Jack & Diane a little disgusting.As a child of immigrant professionals, I can’t help but notice the wasteful frivolity of it all. Why are these kids not home doing their homew...
As an adult, I've met an ocean of divorced people. I might even know more divorced people than married people, because I live in godless Los Angeles, where if you're engaged it simply means you're pub...
As a bridesmaid, on the morning of the wedding you will be unfolding the rusty metal legs of a banquet table and in the distance you will see a useless groomsman playing Frisbee with a dog. To rub sal...
Anyone who comes to visit the set of The Office always says the same thing when they leave: Holy crap, that was scary! This is because we shoot at the end of a dead-end street on an industrial block o...
And when she’s at the door, Mark stops her and he says, I like you, very much. Just as you are.It’s ridiculous that I love this so much. It’s so simple. It’s not a witty, perfectly phrased, Ephron-y d...