Albums that remind me of my childhood happiness make me incredibly sad now.
A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.
A note about me: I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed...
A not 100-percent-perfect-looking-in-every-way female? You might as well film a dead squid decaying on a beach somewhere for two hours.
10. I will never have a husband and all my female acquaintances will.11. I WILL have a husband and he will be like my female acquaintances' husbands.
You should never have to say hello or goodbye. Even at work sometimes, and I know this is very unpopular, is that if I'm going to work every single day, I don't think you should have to hug people hel...
But when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going...
You might also see that some of my playlists are simply two songs on repeat fifteen times, like I’m a psycho getting pumped up to murder the president.
When I was twenty-five, I went on exactly four dates with a much older guy whom I’ll call Peter Parker. I’m calling him Peter Parker because the actual guy’s name was also alliterative, and because, w...
We do a thing in America, which is to label people workaholics and tell them that work is ruining their lives. It’s such a widespread opinion that it seems like the premise to every indie movie is Wor...
Thus, I never learned moderation. When I arrived at Dartmouth College in 1997, my attitude toward alcohol was that it was a delicious and dangerous treat that, when obtained, needed to be ingested qui...
This photo is more significant because it is a rare time where my head looks normal size. I have enormous head, so it is important to me to have a few flattering, head-minimizing photos.
This ethereal weirdo abounds in movies, but nowhere else. If she were from real life, people would think she was a homeless woman and would cross the street to avoid her, but she is essential to the m...
They say the best revenge is living well. I say it's acid in the face -- who will love them now?
There was silence. No one looked at me. People pretended to be absorbed in their phones. One writer didn’t even have a phone, so he just pretended to be absorbed in his hand.
Then we’d leave and have our regular dinners at our respective homes. Obviously, the waiters loathed us. In a way we were worse than the dine-and-dashers because at least the dine-and-dashers only hit...
The truth is, if I were going to lose weight successfully, I would have to think about what I eat constantly.
The terrorists scramble. Who is this invisible antiterrorist? It’s me, Mindy Kaling. I was hiding behind Cee Lo’s fur coat,
The result of my not caring so much about what I say allows me to care more about how I say it.
The result of my not caring so much about what I say allows me to care more about how I say it. I think it makes my writing more personal and more enjoyable. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a...