I wish there was a song called Nguyen and Ari, a little ditty about a hardworking Vietnamese girl who helps her parents withthe franchised Holiday Inn they run, and does homework in thelobby, and Ari,...
I think that’s the lesson of this story: you never know what is going to happen. Other lessons: • No matter how good you have it, it’s cool to want more. • Self-pity gets results. • Sometimes you c...
I never think environmental hazards are going to kill me. I only think serial killers are.
I might even know more divorced people than married people, because I live in godless Los Angeles, where if you’re engaged it simply means you’re publicly announcing that you are dating a person monog...
I love romantic comedies. I feel almost sheepish writing that, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years or so that admitting you like these movies is essentially an admission of...
I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you’re grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that...
I kind of killed it in college. You know that saying big fish in a small pond? At Dartmouth college, I was freakin' Jaws in a community swimming pool.
I just sometimes get the sneaking suspicion that corporations are co-opting girl confidence language to rally girls into buying body wash. Be careful.
I got to see my friend B. J. Novak daily, which, when we weren’t fighting, was the absolute best.
I didn’t want to be Regis or Kathie Lee, because their chairs were too high. I’m sorry, I’m supposed to sit like that for an hour? Too much blood rushing to my ankles. No, thanks.
How is your love life, Minz? she would ask hungrily, hoping to be entertained by raunchy details.I had none. Um, you know. So hard to meet guys, I answered vaguely, hoping my lack of a sex life would...
Guys I’ve dated have been into me the way I am; and (4) I’m pretty happy with the way I look, so long as I don’t break a beach chair.
Doug appeared, clad in an Affliction waffle-knit tee and True Religion jeans. It was 2006, so this was a sign of great success.
But none of that mattered, because I knew the truth, which is if someone really wants to see you, they always find a way. Always. That
Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival.
Besides, who wants to read about success, anyway? Successful serial murderers, maybe.
Because a honeymoon is, after all, a sex vacation you’re giving yourself after a massive party in your honor.
As everyone knows, depressed people are some of the most boring people in the world. I know this because when I was depressed, people fled. Except my best friends.
And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that is why you need to be a little bit brave.
All the humiliation was worth it for the one shining moment when Amy Poehler proposed we walk a few blocks together, late at night, in New York City in 2006.