He was twisted as a pretzel, he was a tinfoil-halo shitnosed frogstomping king rat asshole, but he wasn't stupid.
You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows. So that...
If you believe what you like in the Gospel, and reject what you don't like, it is not the Gospel you believe, but yourself.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
People that have a police car behind them pulling them over should put on their hazard lights and continue slowly driving to the nearest densely populated public place, such as a supermarket or shoppi...
My only career goal is to be an halloween icon.
I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is 'In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.'
It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.
Police Officer Angry Aggression Theory (POAAT) is why you need to video record the police before they shoot you. Always start the video camera at the first contact, as it can go sour at any time and w...
Just as a cautious businessman avoids investing all his capital in one concern, so wisdom would probably admonish us also not to anticipate all our happiness from one quarter alone.