I taught how to be sociable with ink on paper. I told my students that when they were writing they should be good dates on blind dates, should show strangers good times. Alternatively, they should run...
I can have oodles of charm when I want to.
Here's the news: I am going to sue the Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company, manufacturers of Pall Mall cigarettes, for a billion bucks! Starting when I was only twelve years old, I have never chain-smo...
Anyone unable to understand how useful religion can be founded on lies will not understand this book either.
. . but the Universe is an awfully big place. There is room enough for an awful lot of people to be right about things and still not agree.
It's the emptiest and yet the fullest of all human messages: 'Good-bye.
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
I could carve a better man out of a banana.
Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.
Her face ... was a one-of-a-kind, a surprising variation on a familiar theme - a variation that made observers think, Yes - that would be another very nice way for people to look. What Beatrice had do...
He was talking about the sign that said 'THE COMPLICATED FUTILITY OF IGNORANCE.''All knew was that I didn't want my daughter or anybody's child to see a message that negative every time she comes into...
And so it goes...
Among the things Billy Pilgrim could not change were the past, the present, and the future.
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true.
Ting-a-ling mother fucker.
There were one quadrillion nations in the Universe, but the nation Dwayne Hoover and Kilgore Trout belonged to was the only one with a national anthem which was gibberish sprinkled with question marks...
There are almost no characters in this story, and almost no dramatic confrontations, because most of the people in it are so sick and so much the listless playthings of enormous forces. One of the mai...
The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn't want to be used by anybody.
The words were a paraphrase of the suggestion of Jesus: Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's. Bokonon's paraphrase was this: Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn't have the s...