It's the emptiest and yet the fullest of all human messages: 'Good-bye.
I'm odd, I know,' he said. 'It's fear of myself that's made me odd.
I taught how to be sociable with ink on paper. I told my students that when they were writing they should be good dates on blind dates, should show strangers good times. Alternatively, they should run...
Here's the news: I am going to sue the Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company, manufacturers of Pall Mall cigarettes, for a billion bucks! Starting when I was only twelve years old, I have never chain-smo...
He was talking about the sign that said 'THE COMPLICATED FUTILITY OF IGNORANCE.''All knew was that I didn't want my daughter or anybody's child to see a message that negative every time she comes into...
Anyone unable to understand how useful religion can be founded on lies will not understand this book either.
And what did the great British historian Edward Gibbon have to say about the human record so far? He said, History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of man...
. . but the Universe is an awfully big place. There is room enough for an awful lot of people to be right about things and still not agree.
Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch: everything stops.
You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.
There were one quadrillion nations in the Universe, but the nation Dwayne Hoover and Kilgore Trout belonged to was the only one with a national anthem which was gibberish sprinkled with question marks...
The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn't want to be used by anybody.
The book was Maniacs in the Fourth Dimension, by Kilgore Trout. It was about people whose mental diseases couldn't be treated because the causes of the diseases were all in the fourth dimension, and t...
On Tralfamadore, says Billy Pilgrim, there isn't much interest in Jesus Christ. The Earthling figure who is most engaging to the Tralfamadorian mind, he says, is Charles Darwin - who taught that those...
Much of the conversation in the country consisted of lines from television shows, both past and present.
I think you guys are going to have to come up with a lot of wonderful new lies, or people just aren't going to want to go on living.
I found me a place where I can do good without doing any harm, and I can see I'm doing good, and them I'm doing good for know I'm doing it, and they love me, Unk, as best they can. I found me a home.
Her face ... was a one-of-a-kind, a surprising variation on a familiar theme - a variation that made observers think, Yes - that would be another very nice way for people to look. What Beatrice had do...
Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule tha...
He is in a constant state of stage fright, he says, because he never knows what part of his life he is going to have to act in next