HIGGINSI find that the moment I let a woman make friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damned nuisance. I find that the moment I let myself make friends with a woman, I bec...
I owe all my originality, such as it is, to my determination not to be a literary man. Instead of belonging to a literary club I belong to a municipal council. Instead of drinking and discussing autho...
Never believe anything a writer tells you about himself. A man comes to believe in the end the lies he tells himself about himself.
One man who has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.
Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.
Parentage is a very important profession but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interests of the Children.
The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing.
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each o...
It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man'sto keep unmarried as long as he can.
That is the injustice of a woman's lot. A woman has to bring up her children; and that means to restrain them, to deny them things they want, to set them tasks, to punish them when they do wrong, to d...
The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.
The truth is, hardly any of us have ethical energy enough for more than one really inflexible point of honor.
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
You may remember that on earth—though of course we never confessed it—the death of anyone we knew, even those we liked best, was always mingled with a certain satisfaction at being finally done with t...
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn’t come every day.
BROADBENT [stiffly]. Devil is rather a strong expression in thatconnexion, Mr Keegan.KEEGAN. Not from a man who knows that this world is hell. Butsince the word offends you, let me soften it, and comp...