People often ask, Why is infidelity such a big deal today? Why does it hurt so much? How has it become one of the leading causes of divorce? Only by taking a brief trip back in time to look at the cha...
Acknowledging the third has to do with validating the erotic separateness of our partner. It follows that our partner's sexuality does not belong to us. It isn't just for and about us, and we should n...
It's hard to experience desire when you're weighted down by concern.
The body often contains emotional truths that words can too easily gloss over.
The shift from shame to guilt is crucial. Shame is a state of of self-absorption, while guilt is an emphatic, relational response, inspired by the hurt you have caused another.
At their peak, affairs rarely lack imagination. Nor do they lack desire, abundance of attention, romance, and playfulness. Shared dreams, affection, passion and endless curiosityーall these are natura...
The smaller we feel in the world, the more we need to shine in the eyes of our partner.
In our consumer culture, we always want the next best thing: the latest, the newest, the youngest. Failing that, we at least want more: more intensity, more variety, more stimulation. We seek instant...
We no longer get work out of our children; today we get meaning.
Once divorce carried all the stigma. Now, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame.
Humans have a tendency to look for things in the places where it is easiest to search for them rather than in the places where the truth is more likely to be found.
Le spun adeseori pacienților mei că, dacă ar putea să aducă în relațiile lor conjugale măcar o zecime din îndrăzneala, zburdălnicia și verva pe care le aduc în relațiile lor extraconjugale, viața de a...
Today, our sexuality is an open-ended personal project; it is part of who we are, an identity, and no longer merely something we do.
These developments, in conjunction with postwar economic prosperity, have contributed to a period of unmatched freedom and individualism.
If you’re too busy for sex, you’re too busy.
You would think that the safety of an established base would make it easier to take these kinds of risks, but no. A secure relationship does indeed give us the courage to act on our professional ambit...
We bitch about our difficulties along the rough surface of our path, we curse every sharp stone underneath, until at some point in our maturation, we finally look down to see that they are diamonds.
There is beauty in an image that highlights a connection to oneself, rather than a distance from one’s partner.
Everyone should cultivate a secret garden.
Trouble looms when monogamy is no longer a free expression of loyalty but a form of enforced compliance. Excessive monitoring can set the stage for what Stephen Mitchell calls acts of exuberant defian...