The guests and I spent a glorious thirty minutes on some of the most uncomfortable folding chairs my ass has ever borne witness to, listening to a pastor who could make a sloth look like a gerbil on c...
I’m impressed you survived your childhood, Damian, Alan said. We all have our talents, I said.
Your soul will rot in flames until the end of days. Oh, I said. At least it’s not something bad.
There is far more evil in the world than there are things trying to destroy it.
The world will try to beat you down. It will steal your will. The best thing you can do is kick it in the balls.
She’s a firecracker, that one. She’s usually the most reasonable of the bunch, I said. The Old Man shook his head and stroked his beard. You’ve obviously not seen her angry. Ah, but I’ve seen her nake...
Everyone let out a sigh of relief as Carter came into view. Look what I found! he said as he held up the decapitated head of the other Alpha. I grimaced and said, Carter, you don’t know where that’s b...
Um, what did you say? He was screaming again. I said you almost hit the highway impact attenuation devices! The what? The barrels! The big fucking yellow barrels!
There are days so great, you wish them to never end, There are days gone so bad, you wish them never to have been, And there are days when hell kicks in your front door.
What? There is no better- Stop, never mind. I heard you the first time. What’s up with the wolf? Foster said as he looked at me. Gee, I have no clue. Was it the entrails?
Look on the bright side, Foster said. If it’s not the right thing, you’ll be too dead to worry about it. Carter grimaced. Thanks, I feel much better now. There is no better way to die, than to die wit...
And the design is quite brilliant, Vik said as he demonstrated the movable bottom that pressed all the blood into the lid. Vampire Push Pops, I said. My sister grinned and elbowed me.