“ HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! David Walliams
“ I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts. David Walliams
“ When I want comfort food, I buy Maltesers. I like all chocolates, but especially those. You can eat them, and because they're so light, you can convince yourself that they are not actually that fatten… David Walliams
“ What I still don’t get though, ventured John. Is why you did it?Did what?Put that dress on in the first place.I don’t know really, said Dennis, a puzzled look crossing his face. I suppose it’s because… David Walliams
“ The Queen’s bum remained purple. She showed it to everyone in the country when she gave her yearly speech to the nation on Christmas Day, calling it her ‘anus horribilis’. David Walliams
“ Now I am covered in knickers! she complained loudly. I can never show my face in polite society again! David Walliams
“ How did it sound? asked Tom. Awful! But it didn’t matter how it sounded! said Robin. It was how it felt! David Walliams
