Rozzers*
Normalerweise
No one knows where socks disappear to. It is one of the universe's greatest mysteries. Either they are sucked into a black hole where time and space have become flattened, or they get caught in the ba...
Magazines like that are for girls! And woofters! SHUT UP! said Dad. Dennis
Just to check she’s not going out. Going
Friday Soup of the day – Terrapin Pan-fried otter steaks Or Owl quiche (kosher) Or Boiled poodle (not suitable for vegetarians) All served with a slice of gravy Dessert – Mouse mousse
Poo,
Flanked by two incredibly bulky nurses who dwarfed her. One nurse had a black eye, and ‘LOVE’ and ‘HATE’ tattooed on her knuckles. The other had a tattoo of a spider’s web on her neck and what looked...
With a Spoon?!
That night Jack lay in bed, in the place just between awake and asleep. The room was beginning to disappear to make way for the world of dreams.
Pulling wings off daddy-longlegs, stapling cats’ tails to the floor, hanging bunny rabbits on a clothes line by their ears, just a bit of fun.
Now I am covered in knickers! she complained loudly. I can never show my face in polite society again!
Nathaniel Septimus Ernest Bertram Lysander Tybalt Zacharias Edmund Alexander Humphrey Percy Quentin Tristan Augustus Bartholomew Tarquin Imogen Sebastian Theodore Clarence Smythe.
Hello, Raj, said Zoe sheepishly. I don’t have any money again today I am afraid. Not a penny? Nothing. Sorry.
Flip had written many volumes of poetry:
But it had been a few moments since Joe had last eaten and he was hungry.
As long as you love me, I can never die.
Unfortunately for Ben and Granny, it turns out that ancient poo does still pong.) After
Wavering
Hank you, Miss Midget, I mean Midge, for that beautiful tuba playing, lied Mr Grave. It had been truly awful. Like a hippopotamus farting.