We're not pessimists, exactly, but in late middle age, when you envision your life ten years down the line, you're more likely to see a bedpan than a Tony Award.
We'd all turn our backs on privilege, but comfortably, the way you can when you still have access to it. No one wanted to call home asking for money, but we all knew that in a pinch our parents would...
We passed a gun shop advertising a Blowout Sale.While listening to a country music station,we heard a talk/song narrated by our flag. I flew proudly at Iwo Jima and the blustering deserts of Kuwait, a...
Use the word 'ya'll' and before you knew it, you'd find yourself in a haystack french-kissing an underage goat
Up close the city constitutes an oppressive series of staircases, but from a distance it inspires fantasies of wealth and power so profound that even our communists are temporarily rendered speechless...
Trying to explain moral principles to Khe Sahn was like reviewing a standard 1040 tax form with a house cat!
True art was based upon despair, and the important thing was to make yourself and those around you as miserable as possible.
Today a child told Santa Ken that he wanted his dead father back and a complete set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Everyone wants those Turtles.
To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me.
To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the left, Jean-Claude. I long to capture the playful quality of your buttocks.
To be fair, he had never actually promised to be monogamous. That was my idea, and though I tried my hardest to convert him, the allure of other people was just too great.
This is hurting me a lot more than it’s hurting you, he said. It was his standard line, but I knew that this time he was right. Worse than the boil was the stuff that came out of it. What got to me, a...
There was a sink for washing glasses and an assortment of cartoon napkins illustrating the lighter side of alcoholism.
The writers she prefers are long dead and are on the wordy side. If the novel on the sofa is 700 pages long, and the author photo is an engraving, it's either hers or Hugh's.
The word love was replaced by a heart shape I’m guessing they’ll put on the typewriter keyboard any day now, right beside the exclamation point.
The word 'phobic' has its place when properly used, but lately it's been declawed by the pompous insistence that most animosity is based upon fear rather than good old-fashioned loathing.
The reverend insists we occupy the first pew. He rang us up not long ago, tipsy-- he's a tippler-- saying that our faces brought him closer to God. And it's true, we're terribly good-looking people.
The part of my plan that made old people uncomfortable, that exposed them for the bigots they were—and on a Sunday!—still appealed to me.
The hippo did, and I heard what sounded at first like a rabble, many voices talking over one another. Then I realized that they weren’t talking.Let me get this straight, the hippo said when I explaine...
The guilt applies only to those things that are being given away for free.