“ If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of a different color, or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone! Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records. Chuck Klosterman
“ If Elvis ..is the definition of rock, then rock is remembered as showbiz...It becomes a solely performative art form, where the meaning of a song matters less than the person singing it. It becomes ..… Chuck Klosterman
“ I think there’s a greater detriment with our escalating progression toward the opposite extremity—the increasingly common ideology that assures people they’re right about what they believe. And note t… Chuck Klosterman
“ I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it’s done wonders for the advancement of computer technology. Chuck Klosterman
“ However, I suppose VH1 *is* selling me something; they're selling nostalgia, which means they're selling my own memories back to me, which means they're selling me to me. Chuck Klosterman
“ But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic r… Chuck Klosterman
“ But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse. Chuck Klosterman
“ But I still feel like I lost.We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in the sixth grade. Her name was Miss… Chuck Klosterman
“ As a rule, people who classify art as irrelevant are trying to position themselves above the entity; it’s a way of pretending they’re more in step with contemporary culture than the artist himself, wh… Chuck Klosterman
“ And this, of course, is the central problem with conspiracy theorists — once you inflexibly accept that something is a conspiracy, any contrary evidence has the paradoxical effect of making your case… Chuck Klosterman
“ Because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation. It's a way for people to be honest without telling the tru… Chuck Klosterman
“ Within these strangely specific conditions, everything is perfect. We are perfect. Chuck Klosterman
“ When given the choice, we’d all rather be happy now … even if that guarantees we’ll all be sad later. Chuck Klosterman
“ What my mom failed to understand was that I didn't even want long hair -- I needed long hair. And my desire for protracted, flowing locks had virtually nothing to do with fashion, nor was it a form of… Chuck Klosterman
“ We all convince ourselves of things like this- not necessarily about Say Anything, but about any fictionalized portrayals of romance that happen to hit us in the right place, at the right time. Chuck Klosterman
“ This is a consistent theme in stories about traveling to the future: Things are always worse when you get there. And I suspect this is because the kind of writer who’s intrigued by the notion of movin… Chuck Klosterman
“ The solution to this paradox (according to Palahniuk) is the theory of splintered alternative realities, where all possible trajectories happen autonomously and simultaneously (sort of how Richard Lin… Chuck Klosterman
“ Somewhere, at some point, somehow, somebody decided that death equals credibility. Chuck Klosterman
