But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.
But I still feel like I lost.We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in the sixth grade. Her name was Miss...
As recently as the grunge era, there remained a bohemian cachet in casually mentioning that you didn’t own a TV. But nobody thinks like that anymore. Today, claiming you don’t own a TV simply means yo...
As a rule, people who classify art as irrelevant are trying to position themselves above the entity; it’s a way of pretending they’re more in step with contemporary culture than the artist himself, wh...
And if something is only itself, it doesn't particularly matter.
According to population expert Dr. Paul Ehrlich, we should currently be experiencing a dystopian dreamscape where survivors envy the dead, which seems true only when I look at Twitter. Yet
Because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation. It's a way for people to be honest without telling the tru...
Wishing for control is like wishing for the rapture.
When given the choice, we’d all rather be happy now … even if that guarantees we’ll all be sad later.
This made her remember why people take up walking: It is because they no longer have anywhere to go.
This is a consistent theme in stories about traveling to the future: Things are always worse when you get there. And I suspect this is because the kind of writer who’s intrigued by the notion of movin...
There’s even an 1892 novel called Golf in the Year 2000 that (somewhat incredibly) predicts the advent of televised sports.
The strength of your memory dictates the size of your reality
The solution to this paradox (according to Palahniuk) is the theory of splintered alternative realities, where all possible trajectories happen autonomously and simultaneously (sort of how Richard Lin...
The falling flakes were random and without purpose; the snow was drunker than she was.
Sports are among the increasingly rare moments of totally unscripted television. The human element informs everything, in confounding and inconsistent ways. And since these are only games, and since a...
Sometimes I want to unknow things.
So I surrendered. I joined Facebook. And you know what? It turns out the only reason they wanted me to join was so they could show me pictures of their children without having to ask if I was interest...
She said to me, How is it going, Mitch? I said, Okay. But this is not really true, because she did not specify what it was and I did not immediately assume it referred to any preexisting situation in...
Part of the presidential job description is the absorption of public vitriol.