“ I never feel weird about being the main character in the nontransferable, nonexistent movie of my life. That’s totally fine. What makes me nervous is a growing suspicion that this movie is fucked up a… Chuck Klosterman
“ According to population expert Dr. Paul Ehrlich, we should currently be experiencing a dystopian dreamscape where survivors envy the dead, which seems true only when I look at Twitter. Yet Chuck Klosterman
“ A book becomes popular because of its text, but it’s the subtext that makes it live forever. For Chuck Klosterman
“ This made her remember why people take up walking: It is because they no longer have anywhere to go. Chuck Klosterman
“ There is no alternative universe where Ralph Sampson is a beloved symbol of excellence. There’s no Philip K. Dick novel where he averages a career double-double and gets four rings. He could never be… Chuck Klosterman
“ The single-biggest proof that the Dixie Chicks are Van Halen is their audience; they are singing to the same teenage boys, except those boys are now teenage girls. Chuck Klosterman
“ The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country. Chuck Klosterman
“ The most popular single in the world was Livin’ la Vida Loca, a song about how Pro Tools made Puerto Ricans gay. Chuck Klosterman
“ The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love without any acumen of normalcy. There is no normal, because everyone is being twisted by the same sources simultaneously… Chuck Klosterman
“ The falling flakes were random and without purpose; the snow was drunker than she was. Chuck Klosterman
“ Sports are among the increasingly rare moments of totally unscripted television. The human element informs everything, in confounding and inconsistent ways. And since these are only games, and since a… Chuck Klosterman
“ Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time (like a twig floating on the surface of the water). Chuck Klosterman
“ She said to me, How is it going, Mitch? I said, Okay. But this is not really true, because she did not specify what it was and I did not immediately assume it referred to any preexisting situation in… Chuck Klosterman
“ Once people decide they want you to do something, they don't really care what your qualifications are. Chuck Klosterman
“ Maybe I don't need a relationship after all, she thought. Maybe thinking about these conversations was just as good as having them. She could sit in her Honda in the dark and experience whatever kind… Chuck Klosterman
“ Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates. Chuck Klosterman
“ Ignorance is not bliss. That platitude is totally wrong. You will not be intellectually happier if you know fewer things. Learning should be a primary goal of living. But what if ignorance feels bette… Chuck Klosterman
