I always thought the time machine is the device that’s missed most. Without even saying it out loud, that’s the thing people want the most: The ability to take whatever it is that went wrong and fix i...
Football allows the intellectual part of my brain to evolve, but it allows the emotional part to remain unchanged. It has a liberal cerebellum and a reactionary heart. And this is all I want from ever...
But I've mellowed over time, which is what all wine drunks and dope smokers say when trying to justify why they quit trying.
And this, of course, is the central problem with conspiracy theorists — once you inflexibly accept that something is a conspiracy, any contrary evidence has the paradoxical effect of making your case...
And this is not a criticism of coolness: by and large, the musical component of rock isn’t nearly as important as the iconography and the posturing and the idea of what we’re supposed to be experienci...
The Eagles' song Take It Easy) is clearly a problem of a young man, as no one over thirty-five could sustain interest in seven simultaneous relationships unless they're biracial and amazing at golf.
Take solace in the fact that you can quit at any time. I cannot.]
When deployed in rap vernacular, the word feels slightly anachronistic, particularly when prefaced by the adjective . It’s a little old-timey. But there simply wasn’t a word that better described N.W...
When The Matrix debuted in 1999, it was a huge box-office success. It was also well received by critics, most of whom focused on one of two qualities—the technological (it mainstreamed the digital tec...
We spend our lives learning many things, only to discover (again and again) that most of what we've learned is either wrong or irrelevant. A big part of our mind can handle this; a smaller, deeper par...
There was a time in our very recent history when it was interesting to be a Star Wars fan. It was sort of like admitting you masturbate twice a day or that your favorite band was They Might Be Giants....
There are very few Americans who honestly care who Lindsay Lohan is dating. But it’s still information they need to have. This is because those people care about something else entirely; they’re worri...
The mass media causes sexual misdirection: It prompts us to need something deeper than what we want. This is why Woody Allen has made nebbish guys cool; he makes people assume there is something profo...
Sometimes I find myself wishing that the world would end in my lifetime, since that would be oddly flattering; we’d all be part of humanity’s apex. That’s about as great an accomplishment as I can hop...
So this, I suspect, is where we really begin: In any situation, the villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least.
People who are wrong during particularly important moments inevitably spend the rest of their lives trying to explain how their wrongness was paradoxically correct, or—at the very least—why their wron...
One of the minor tragedies of human memory is our inability to unwatch movies we’d love to see (again) for the first time.
Metaphoric sheep get no love. There’s no worse thing to be compared to, at least among conspiracy theorists. You’re just a sheep, they will say. You believe what they want you to believe. But this imp...
Like so many modern people, my relationship with technology makes no sense whatsoever: It's the most important aspect of my that I hate.
It is important to have questionable friends you can trust unconditionally.