“ But when you’re naturally better than everyone else, and when that talent is so utterly obvious, being quiet doesn’t translate as humble. It translates as boredom. Chuck Klosterman
“ If you're doing an interview, you need conversational tension. After you talk to them, you're not going to have a relationship with them, they're not going to like you, they're not going to be your fr… Chuck Klosterman
“ We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any… Chuck Klosterman
“ They [dolphins] are my least favorite member of the animal kingdom. Everyone seems to think dolphins are cute and intelligent, but they're best described as ugly and impractical. I don't want to come… Chuck Klosterman
“ There’s one kind of writing that’s always easy: Picking out something obviously stupid and reiterating how stupid it obviously is. This is the lowest form of criticism, easily accomplished by anyone.… Chuck Klosterman
“ There are two ways to look at life. The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is entropy. The second is t… Chuck Klosterman
“ The uncomfortable, omnipresent reality within any conversation about representation is that the most underrepresented subcultures are the ones that don’t even enter into the conversation. Chuck Klosterman
“ The middle class does not exist. If you believe you are part of the middle class it just means you're rich and insecure or poor and misinformed. Chuck Klosterman
“ The Three Little Pigs is not the story that is fucking people up. Stories like Say Anything are fucking people up. We don’t need to worry about people unconsciously absorbing archaic secret messages w… Chuck Klosterman
“ Sometimes I think that the amount of time you live on earth is just an inverse reflection of how good you were in a previous existence. For example, infants who die from SIDs were actually great peopl… Chuck Klosterman
“ Sampson wanted to be a seven-foot-four guard. He was too pretty to be a soldier. Against the profoundly overmatched Chaminade, he took just nine shots and let his unbeatable team lose to a bunch of be… Chuck Klosterman
“ In New York, people are unhappy on purpose, because unhappiness makes them seem more complex; in Washington DC it just sort of works out that way. Chuck Klosterman
“ If you don’t quit following me, I will kill every man you’ve got. I’ll burn down your house and rearrange your furniture. I will not pray for you and not for your children and not for your children’s… Chuck Klosterman
“ Every night, we’re all having multiple metaphysical experiences, wholly constructed by our subconscious. Almost one-third of our lives happens inside surreal mental projections we create without tryin… Chuck Klosterman
“ But I've mellowed over time, which is what all wine drunks and dope smokers say when trying to justify why they quit trying. Chuck Klosterman
“ Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way. Chuck Klosterman
