As of right now, I am in love with her, and that love is the biggest problem in my life.
Hitler is the human catch-all for all other terrible humans.
There’s no such thing as middle-class. The middle class does not exist. If you believe you are part of the middle class, it just means you’re rich and insecure or poor and misinformed.
We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any...
Toby Keith writes songs like 1993's Should've Been a Cowboy, and what's compelling is that you can't deconstruct its message. Should've Been a Cowboy is not like Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive, where...
This is how the present must be considered whenever we try to think about it as the past: It must be analyzed through the values of a future that’s unwritten. Before we can argue that something we cur...
They [dolphins] are my least favorite member of the animal kingdom. Everyone seems to think dolphins are cute and intelligent, but they're best described as ugly and impractical. I don't want to come...
There are two ways to look at life. The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is entropy. The second is t...
The world happens as it happens, but we construct what we remember and what we forget. And people will eventually do that to us, too.
The uncomfortable, omnipresent reality within any conversation about representation is that the most underrepresented subcultures are the ones that don’t even enter into the conversation.
The reason something becomes retrospectively significant in a far-flung future is detached from the reason it was significant at the time of its creation—and that’s almost always due to a recalibratio...
The reason so many well-considered ideas appear laughable in retrospect is that people involuntarily assume that whatever we believe and prioritize now will continue to be believed and prioritized lat...
The practical reality is that any present-tense version of the world is unstable. What we currently consider to be true--both objectively and subjectively--is habitually provisional.
The future makes the rules.
The Three Little Pigs is not the story that is fucking people up. Stories like Say Anything are fucking people up. We don’t need to worry about people unconsciously absorbing archaic secret messages w...
Sometimes I think that the amount of time you live on earth is just an inverse reflection of how good you were in a previous existence. For example, infants who die from SIDs were actually great peopl...
Sometimes I fantasize about the US head of state as a super-lazy, super-moral libertarian despot and think, That would certainly make everything easier, even though I can’t think of one person who’d q...
Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time (like a twig floating on the surface of the water).
Sid and Nancy's relationship forever illustrates the worst part of being in love with anyone, which is that people in love can't be reasoned with.
Sampson wanted to be a seven-foot-four guard. He was too pretty to be a soldier. Against the profoundly overmatched Chaminade, he took just nine shots and let his unbeatable team lose to a bunch of be...