I'm still alive, but I feel myself dying, person by person by person by person.
I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack.
I attempted to make a more academic argument about how the Limp Bizkit song Nookie was misogynist for suggesting that the protagonist’s ex-girlfriend should inject a cookie into her vagina (or maybe t...
I am ready to be alone.
Everything (N.W.A.) attempted had to possess criminal undertones. I can only assume they spent hours trying to deduce villainous ways to microwave popcorn (and if they'd succeeded, there would absolut...
But when you’re naturally better than everyone else, and when that talent is so utterly obvious, being quiet doesn’t translate as humble. It translates as boredom.
Because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation. It's a way for people to be honest without telling the tru...
The increasingly common ideology that assures people they’re right about what they believe.... is, however, socially detrimental . It hijacks conversation and aborts ideas. It engenders a delusion of...
Hitler is the human catch-all for all other terrible humans.
We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any...
They [dolphins] are my least favorite member of the animal kingdom. Everyone seems to think dolphins are cute and intelligent, but they're best described as ugly and impractical. I don't want to come...
There are two ways to look at life. The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is entropy. The second is t...
The uncomfortable, omnipresent reality within any conversation about representation is that the most underrepresented subcultures are the ones that don’t even enter into the conversation.
The Three Little Pigs is not the story that is fucking people up. Stories like Say Anything are fucking people up. We don’t need to worry about people unconsciously absorbing archaic secret messages w...
Sometimes I think that the amount of time you live on earth is just an inverse reflection of how good you were in a previous existence. For example, infants who die from SIDs were actually great peopl...
Sid and Nancy's relationship forever illustrates the worst part of being in love with anyone, which is that people in love can't be reasoned with.
Sampson wanted to be a seven-foot-four guard. He was too pretty to be a soldier. Against the profoundly overmatched Chaminade, he took just nine shots and let his unbeatable team lose to a bunch of be...
Not all crazy people are brilliant, but almost all brilliant people are crazy.
It's difficult to cope with the infinite variety of the past, and so we apply filters and settle on a few famous names.
Every night, we’re all having multiple metaphysical experiences, wholly constructed by our subconscious. Almost one-third of our lives happens inside surreal mental projections we create without tryin...