“ And when they finally demanded that I had to stop keeping score and that I needed to play every future contest as an exhibition, I casually made the kind of statement sixteen-year-olds should not make… Chuck Klosterman
“ And I'm probably wrong. Maybe not completely, but partially. And maybe not today, but eventually. Chuck Klosterman
“ Machine powering the modern world is too complicated for the average person to fix or calibrate. And they know this. This is what makes an IT guy different from you. He might make less money, he might… Chuck Klosterman
“ Everything I understood seven hours ago has already changed, and that I have to learn everything again. Chuck Klosterman
“ [...] outlining how certain fans of ’NSYNC like to imagine Justin Timber lake getting fisted by Lance Bass. Glenn Dixon surmised that much of the Contemporary Christian genre is driven by artists who… Chuck Klosterman
“ Without a soundtrack, human interaction is meaningless… I never have any idea how other people feel; they always appear fine to me. But if somebody had pointedly played Pat Benatar’s Love is a Battlef… Chuck Klosterman
“ What are the things that make adults depressed? The master list is too comprehensive to quantify (plane crashes, unemployment, killer bees, impotence, Stringer Bell's murder, gambling addictions, crib… Chuck Klosterman
“ We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is; living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths. Chuck Klosterman
“ There are things we cannot control about ourselves. One of these things is the degree to which we find something to be funny. It Chuck Klosterman
“ The reason so many well-considered ideas appear laughable in retrospect is that people involuntarily assume that whatever we believe and prioritize now will continue to be believed and prioritized lat… Chuck Klosterman
“ The mere recognition of an extrinsic reality damages the intrinsic merits of one’s own reality. In other words, it’s a mistake to (consciously) do what everyone else is doing, just as it’s a mistake t… Chuck Klosterman
“ Perry wanted to be the villain, probably for strategic reasons. But it didn’t take. He wasn’t smart enough; he probably didn’t even know how Ayn was pronounced. Chuck Klosterman
“ My mind and gut are never simpatico: Every time I think somebody likes me, she doesn't; every time I think somebody doesn't like me, she does. This has never changed and I'm certain it never will. Chuck Klosterman
“ It's difficult to cope with the infinite variety of the past, and so we apply filters and settle on a few famous names. Chuck Klosterman
“ I remember saying things, but I have no idea what was said. It was generally a friendly conversation. —Associated Press reporter Jack Sullivan, attempting to recount a 3 A.M. exchange we had at a dinn… Chuck Klosterman
“ Everything (N.W.A.) attempted had to possess criminal undertones. I can only assume they spent hours trying to deduce villainous ways to microwave popcorn (and if they'd succeeded, there would absolut… Chuck Klosterman
“ Both lyrically and sonically, glam metal is the sensible accompaniment for removing one's pants for money. Chuck Klosterman
