A man attacked me, choked me, bit my neck, burned my hand, then stuffed my shirt full of money and put a dumpster on me and now I can see heat and hear fog. I’ve won Satan’s lottery.
A centipede the size of a Pontiac had once lived in the bottom-right corner of the trunk but had long since moved on once he realized that no one was ever going to bother him, so he could stand up on...
She is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
Of course there are gay Betas: the Beta Male boyfriend is highly prized in the gay community because you can teach him how to dress yet you can remain relatively certain that he will never develop a f...
For what is curiosity if not intellectual temptation? And what progress is there without curiosity?)
Thou treacherous coal-souled wank-weasel!
There was a flash, a ding, and everything got dark and gooey.
Entiendo que te sientas obligado a defender tus pecados favoritos,
You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems...
You tell soldiers what they need to hear to go to war. Bitches need a mission, not a goal.
You motherfucking kitties need to step the fuck off!
Will there be heinous fuckery, Pocket?
Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass?
Which goes to show you, right there, the difference between sailors and marines: marines are fucking stupid. Running when you don’t have to.
What if he isn’t really the last of his kind, but the first of ours?
What a bawdy bitch is fate when the best bit of a bloke's day is a brace of bloody mermaid murders.
That's a horrible plan.Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
Style can’t be denied, Lemon. That’s the difference between you and me: you a slave to fashion and I’m a sultan of style.
Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
Louvre’s a little pious, isn’t it? Can’t throw a round of darts in there without scoring three Madonnas and a baby Jesus.