Christopher Moore Quotes

Give in to your passions and they will lead you to the most preposterous conclusions—passions make a fool of reason.

Green eggs, or not green eggs? That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to eat them in a box, with a fox—

Have you never met anyone who works in a record store? There’s no greater repository of unjustified arrogance in the world. I’d poison my employees if I thought I could find replacements.

He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.

He had a plan—and a bus pass with four more days left on it—so this son of a bitch had picked the wrong guy to fuck with.

Hope is merely another face of desire. And desire is a motherfucker.

I accidentally shagged a monk last night. Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.

I don't know,' Charlie said. 'Have you gotten a good look at them? I mean, they got the badonkadonk out back and some fine bajoopbadangs up front, know what I'm sayin', dog? Buss a rock wid a playa?'...

I think I'm what they call a never-was.

Louvre’s a little pious, isn’t it? Can’t throw a round of darts in there without scoring three Madonnas and a baby Jesus.

She looked at him—those wide blue eyes—with sort of an odd, glazed look. Not with the adoration or wonder that you might expect, more like she’d been drinking and would be leaving as soon as she found...

Sometimes this high-tech world calls for low-tech solutions.

Steady and righteous we may be, my friend, but without courage to risk ourselves for our brother, we are but politicians—blustering whores to rhetoric.

Style can’t be denied, Lemon. That’s the difference between you and me: you a slave to fashion and I’m a sultan of style.

That's a horrible plan.Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.

That’s it? Joshua asked, as he hopped off his post and winced upon landing. Why did we set up twenty posts if we were only going to use three? Why were you thinking of twenty when you can only stand o...

That’s what I’m saying, said Charlie, who wasn’t saying that at all.

The medium obscured the message.

The snail, presumably, to bolster the self-esteem of the turtles: You think we’re slow? Look at that guy. To shore up the snail’s morale in the same way, there was a rock. Everyone is happier if they...

We'll help, said one boy, his finger far enough up his nose to tickle a memory nesting in his frontal lobe.