Christopher Moore Quotes

In the blink of an eye my beauty becomes but a feast for worms, and I, a forgotten sigh in a sea of nothingness.

People, generally, suck.

Qué coño, seguro que hasta hay monjas de alguna orden dispuestas a echarte un polvo por simple caridad. O como acto de penitencia.

Raziel! Go forth into the land and lay waste unto two good-size Wal-Marts, slay until blood doth flow from all bargains and all the buildings are but rubble — and pick up a few Snickers bars for yours...

Religion was supposed to be a matter of faith. Gods were not supposed to jump on your desk and snarl at you. They weren't supposed to sit in your office smoking cigarettes. God's didn't do anything. T...

Rum, said Kona. Too much hostility in dat buzz. Rum come from da cane, and cane come from slavin’ the people, and dat oppression all distilled in de bottle and come out a man mean as cat shit on a day...

Se prometió a sí mismo acojonarse por ello en cuanto tuviera tiempo.

You’re going to need more than that to usher in the kingdom of God, Josh, no offense. We can’t go home with, ‘Hi, I’m the Messiah, God wanted you to have this bacon.

She could hear wisps of fog brushing against the buildings like wet velvet.

What the hell good was it to be the Lord of the Underworld if there was fuzz on your underdone toast.

She looked like she was being towed through the store by two submarines, said Simon. Major hooters, said Troy Lee. Major-league hooters. Tommy said, Can’t you guys see more in a woman than T and A? No...

She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.

She turned her head and there was such sadness, such kindness in her pity for me, that I knew at once how the bold Othello, pirate and soldier—that hard, scarred, killing thing—had lost his heart.

Sie kam im schlichten Morgenmantel zur Tür, mit zerzausten Haaren und dem ungenierten Gähnen eines Menschen, der sich gezwungenermaßen mit einem Geisteskranken auseinandersetzen muss, welcher unerklär...

Snake eyes! the croupier said.          Lizard dick! Coyote shouted back.This sent me to convulsions.

So safe, Coyote said, that you can lose it in a day? To be safe is to be afraid. Is that what you want: to be afraid?

So, there on the front step, he decided to go with total hysteria. He started breathing hard, pumping up some tears, got a good whimpering sob going, then opened the door with a dieseling back sniffle...

Son, I’ma tell you something ain’t nobody else in the world can tell you: you got no soul. And I’ma tell your future, too: you ain’t never gonna get a soul, you keep makin’ people’s shit small. Evan’s...

What is character, if not a man's measure of himself against his friends and enemies?

Steady and righteous we may be, my friend, but without courage to risk ourselves for our brother, we are but politicians—blustering whores to rhetoric.