Christopher Moore Quotes

You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.

You don't have to tell him anything, Asher,' Lily said, obviously renewing her loyalty in spite of his douche wafflosity.

You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate.

You know, there's a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that.Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I'll bet I can do it in six.

You must find a place on a woman's body and live there. In the dark, the noise far away, Sam ran his hands over Calliope's body and the world of work and worry seemed to move away. He found two depres...

You see, I explained to Joshua, what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You...

You should never pass up an opportunity to be kind. You should never not thank someone. You should never not say something nice when you think it.

You want broccoli? asked Mrs. Korjev.Is there orange broccoli? Sophie asked.Green broccoli is good for you, make you strong, like bear.But it's not vegan.We put on Cheez Whiz, make vegan for you.Okay,...

You whoreson scalawag! said I. You flesh-turd dropped stinking from the poxy arsehole of a hare-lipped harlot!

You’re going to need more than that to usher in the kingdom of God, Josh, no offense. We can’t go home with, ‘Hi, I’m the Messiah, God wanted you to have this bacon.

Accepting death folds the soul, tempers and layers it like a Damascus blade. When I’d thrown myself into the canal in grief, only to be pulled out by the Moor, I’d become colder, more durable.

Careful not to ogle her wares, as dames often do not care for that, even when it is evident that they have spent no little time and effort preparing their wares for ogling.

Couldn’t be more Scottish if it was painted blue and smelled of burning peat and your ginger sister.

Did you just say 'gee whiz' to me? what am I, nine? I am a woman

If the wise man always appears stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise.

It was cruel of her to spend her only time in contact with the outside world telling lies to a little boy, but then, the first story that Mother Basil had told me was about a talking snake who gave ta...

Knew

Los chinos pasan de la Navidad porque es una historia sin dragones ni petardos.

Mitzvahs, niños en JC Penney’s o lo que fuera, pero en tierra firme. Al otro lado del canal,

Not the end of the world, just darkness over everything, Charlie cheerfully said. it gets dark - turn on a light.