Is it the fault of a girl bright with the light of romance that she falls in love with a rascal? Is the love any less pure? Any less heartfelt? Any less painful when lost?
It is accepted science that God himself gave the French the gift of their cuisine, and while he was downstairs, cursed the English with theirs.
It kept him from reaching that place that he hit so, so often in his life, the mind-bending, sob-inducing limit where he said to himself, I just cannot endure any more motherfucking death. No more! Or...
It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death.
Joshua grinned: I think we’ll both do better than my cousin John and his ‘hold them underwater until they agree with you’ sermon.
My ma had a record of that Moron Tallywacker Choir singin’ Christmas music. Sounded like someone hurtin’ a dog. I broke it and melted it on the radiator.
The garlic bread lay there between them, steaming with implications. They, of course, must both eat it or neither could. Garlic bread meant garlic breath. There might be a kiss later, maybe more. Ther...
Wait, what? Ain’t no thing. I’ma choke you out ironically, Evan, so you be too cool for school. Cool as a motherfuckin’ corpse, Evan. He let a little air through. I love something! I do love something...
We Ask the Gods for Answers and They Give Us Questions
What the hell good was it to be the Lord of the Underworld if there was fuzz on your underdone toast.
What? he said. What? What? What? Master, you’re walking on the water, said Peter. I just ate, Joshua said. You can’t go into the water for an hour after you eat. You could get a cramp. What, none of y...
What’s a Mennonite? Vance asked. Amish with blenders.
When he was reading he could fly away into the wildest skies of imagination, untethered to the reality that his soul was trapped in a wretched creature cobbled together from meat and bone, like us all...
When war makes commerce and commerce is law, profit rules prudence and justice is flawed.
Why do you call this dog Mohammed? asked the bearded man. Because that’s his name. You should not have called this dog Mohammed. I didn’t call the dog Mohammed, Charlie said. His name was Mohammed whe...
Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is ho always feminine and muthafucka always masculine, while bitch can be either? How many peeps in a...
Why understand when you can believe?
Wiggly Charlie lived in a big house with his friends Audrey and Big Charlie. He liked mozzarella cheese sticks, chasing his tennis ball, and putting his purple wizard hat on his willy and pretending t...
Within twelve hours they had pulled mankind's teeth. Then the hunting began.
Words, words, words, a million million words circle in my head like hawks, waiting to dive onto the page to rend and tear the only two words I want to write.Why me?
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