She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body. Detective Cavuto
Rescued me from the darkest heart of the forest, fought off brigands, pygmies, and a brace of tigers to bring me here. But don’t let him talk his Welsh at you, one tiger was vanquished in a sluice of...
Relájate, no puede comérselo. Ni siquiera tiene dientes. Y, además, no hayningún Teletubby gimiendo de placer al otro lado. Ay, Dios, voy a necesitar un buentrago de tequila para quitarme esa imagen d...
Raziel! Go forth into the land and lay waste unto two good-size Wal-Marts, slay until blood doth flow from all bargains and all the buildings are but rubble — and pick up a few Snickers bars for yours...
Parables were never my strong suit. If you wan to say something, say it. So, of course, Joshua and Buddhists were the perfect people to hang out with, straight talkers that they were.
Pain travels pretty well.
Okey dokey, fire up the blender, let's make a furry-flurry smoothie out of that squirrel!
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.
Oh, do fuck off. You Muslims and your aversion to drink. Fucking slaughter the greater part of the Western fucking world in Allah’s name, but someone wants to toast to your health and suddenly it’s al...
Oh, Bassanio is so handsome. As is his friend. Do you fancy him? Do you jest? I was lucky not to be sliding on the slippery floor next to you. That is not why I slipped.
No era tanto que las manecillas del tiempo se hubieran detenido allí, sino más bien como si se hubieran levantado, exasperadas, y el reloj hubiera exclamado: ¡Venga, coño! Yo me largo de aquí.
Night crawled across the desert sky like a black cat with phosphorus dandruff.
Love without desire, or conditions, or limits - a pure and radiant glow in the heart that could make me giddy and sad and glorious all at once.
Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.
Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.
Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy
It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies.
It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death.
It was the kind of kiss that he wanted to wake up to and keep refreshing periodically until he got one long last one, salty with tears, in his casket.
It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.