“ Right now, all white people are either wearing or coveting a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. These sunglasses are so popular now that you cannot swing a canvas bag at a farmer's market without hi… Christian Lander
“ It is the dream of every white person to be able to resolve all conflicts by complaining to unrelated parties. Because of this, white people are able to endure years of frustration and anger without s… Christian Lander
“ All white people are born with a singular mission in life in order to pass from regular whitehood into ultra-whitehood. Just as Muslims have to visit Mecca, all white people must eventually renovate a… Christian Lander
“ White people are drawn to farmer’s markets like moths to a flame. In fact, white people have such strong instincts that ifyou release a white person into a random Saturday morning they will return to… Christian Lander
“ If you are able to introduce a white person to a new cheese, it's like introducing them to a future spouse. Christian Lander
“ For white people, nothing makes them appreciate the gift of life more than voluntarily trying to end it. Christian Lander
“ This is because white people need to show off the books that they have read. Just as hunters will mount the heads of their kills, white people need to let people know that they have made their way thr… Christian Lander
