The self (or object self) and the observing self.
We actually have four additional choices, which we may learn as we grow older: (1) to hold it in until it gets unbearable; (2) unable to let it out, we get physically or emotionally sick, and/or we ma...
This false or co-dependent self appears to be universal among humans. It has been described or referred to countless times in print and in our daily lives. It has been called such diverse names as a s...
Control is perhaps the most dominant issue in our lives. No matter what we think we have to control, whether someone else’s behavior, our own behavior or something else, our false self tends to latch...
Since 1986 we have learned several more important things. Most families across the world are dysfunctional in that they don’t provide and support the healthy needs of their children. What results is a...
Infants deprived of touching fail to thrive and grow, even if they get proper food, nourishment and protection. Touching is most powerful by appropriate skin to skin contact. Experiments with rabbits...
Growing up in a troubled or dysfunctional family, we learn to avoid conflict whenever possible. When conflict occurs, we learn mostly to withdraw from it in some way. Occasionally, we become aggressiv...
By being real, it is free to grow. And while our false self forgets, our Real Self remembers our Oneness with others and with the Universe. Yet for most of us, our Real Self is also our private self....
At this point we understand that if the mother or other parent figure cannot provide these first few needs, the child’s physical, mental-emotional and spiritual growth would likely be stunted.
All of the above blocks our growth and development in the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of our being. But we have a desire to contact and know our True Self. We learn that quick fixes such a...
The primary focus of psychotherapy involves the integration of feelings (affect) and thinking (cognition), resulting in personal growth.
The following are guidelines to finding a sponsor, therapist or counselor who will usually tend to be helpful rather than harmful. The person will tend to have or be: 1) Demonstrable training and expe...
Guilt is the uncomfortable or painful feeling that results from doing something that violates or breaks a personal standard or value, or from hurting another person, or even from breaking an agreement...
Because it forgets our Oneness, it feels separate. It is our public self—who we think others and eventually even we think we should be. Most of the time, when we are in the role of our false self, we...
3) Exploring and Experiencing As we begin to know our True Self, we begin to explore and to experience our feelings at a deeper or gut level. Here we are able to tell others as feelings come up for us...
False self, co-dependent self, unauthentic or public self.
We have two basic kinds of feelings or emotions—joyful and painful. Joyful feelings make us feel a sense of strength, well being and completion. Painful feelings interfere with our sense of well being...
These core issues are: control, trust, feelings, being over responsible, neglecting our own needs, all-or-none thinking and behaving, high tolerance for inappropriate behavior and low self-esteem. To...
The self is concerned with thinking, feeling, acting, desiring and other survival-oriented activities. (This older and less useful concept of the self includes parts of both the false self and the Tru...
They even believe they can somehow control life itself. It is hard to learn that life cannot be controlled. Life’s powerful and mysterious process goes on, no matter what we do. Life cannot be control...