Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.
Unfortunately, being low maintenance also meant not asking for what you needed and never inconveniencing anyone.
Shame can only rise so far in any system before people disengage to protect themselves. When we’re disengaged, we don’t show up, we don’t contribute, and we stop caring.
Only when diverse perspectives are included, respected, and valued can we start to get a full picture of the world:
Many of us will spend our entire lives trying to slog through the shame swampland to get to a place where we can give ourselves permission to both be imperfect and to believe we are enough.
Just because we’re plugged in, doesn’t mean we feel seen and heard. In fact, hyper-communication can mean we spend more time on Facebook than we do face-to-face with the people we care about. I can’t...
It’s always helpful to remember that when perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun.
I can confidently say that stories of pain and courage almost always include two things: praying and cussing. Sometimes at the exact same time.
1. People Are Hard to Hate Close Up. Move In. 2. Speak Truth to Bullshit. Be Civil. 3. Hold Hands. With Strangers. 4. Strong Back. Soft Front. Wild Heart.
My husband's a pediatrician, so he and I talk about parenting all the time. You can't raise children who have more shame resilience than you do.
Eventually our anxiety is compounded and made unbearable by our belief that if we were just smarter, stronger, or better, we’d be able to handle everything.
Whenever I'm faced with a vulnerable situation, I get deliberate with my intentions by repeating this to myself: Don't shrink. Don't puff up. stand your sacred ground. Saying this little mantra helps...
When we pretend that we can avoid vulnerability we engage in behaviors that are often inconsistent with who we want to be.
We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we’re afraid to let them see it in us.
We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we’re afraid to let them see it in us. We’re afraid that our truth isn’t enough—that what we have to offer isn’t enough without the bells and...
We fail the minute we let someone else define success for us.
True belonging is not passive. It's not the belonging that comes with just joining a group. It's not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it's safer. It's a practice that requires us to be...
The opposite of scarcity is not abundance; the opposite of scarcity is simply enough.
The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness.
The culture of shame is driven by fear, blame and disconnection, and it is often a powerful incubator for issues like perfectionism, stereotyping, gossiping and addiction.