Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
He laughs best whose laugh lasts.
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
The problem with temptation is that you may not get another chance.
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
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