I hate it when people make fun of me and it turns out they're right.
I could not but wonder at the queen's unprecedented civility, until I realized with a flush of shame that it was my own improved behavior that motivated hers. So it is that we in life determine our ow...
Why was it that jam always coated me so?
Hell is paved with good intentions. Heaven is paved with Oreos.
That which is priceless has no cost.
You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other's rear ends, you'd think they were feeling for diamonds or something.
If in this narrative I have not yet paid Queen Sophia adequate consideration, particularly given the unrelenting domination the woman would soon claim over every single element of my life, I offer thi...
Reasonableness is the byproduct of a scientific mind.
Every fairy tale, it seems, concludes with the bland phrase happily ever after. Yet every couple I have ever known would agree that nothing about marriage is forever happy. There are moments of bliss,...
The situation collapsed completely at dinner one September evening. Perhaps it was the full moon that drove me to madness, or the gnawing, relentless emptiness of my heart. Whatever the trigger, the p...
Despite all my public misconduct, in the past year, I had learned the Elemental spells, the Doppelschläferin, and the preparation and flying of a magic broom; I had survived two months as prisoner of...
How could Paolo think the queen and her ilk were my people? I had no more relation to them than a pigeon does to a flock of swans – or a vortex of vultures, which the castle’s denizens better resemble...
When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.
How many times I have wondered what my fate might have been had I accompanied my parents that rainy spring morning. Such musings, I recognise, are more than a trifle insane, for envisioning what might...
I ultimately decided to hold my tongue and settle instead for the comfort of ignorance. Not knowing the truth, I retained hope, and that hope I held like a smooth warm stone against my heart.
I saw something I wanted to do and I decided to do it. The feeling of freedom it gave me- I can't even describe it. It was my decision. I chose it.
And that's where our conversation went from there, than God, both of us laughing our butts off at the thought of a hoops game between two teams on intravenous fluids. Which makes absolutely no sense a...
The day of the ball was spent preparing me much as one prepares a goose for Christmas, with the same ultimate effect.
With every morsel I consumed, I was informed that princes most love slender young ladies. As I was as interested in a prince’s love as in sticking my fish fork into my ear, I reacted to this by cleani...
So break up with him.
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