“ Refrigerators are good for keeping homemade moonshine less gross. Freezers are good for keeping rattlesnakes less angry. Garages are good to hide in when your wife finds either. Jenny Lawson
“ Lady, you have the wrong number. Our cat isn't even in the hospital. He doesn't want pajamas. Jenny Lawson
“ Australia is filled with roundabouts and everyone drives on the wrong side of the road. In the end we decided to split up the work and I feverishly watched the GPS and yelled, "Left! Right! ROUNDABOUT… Jenny Lawson
“ Even the ugliest person's cellulite is more attractive than the most beautiful supermodel's lower intestine.' I'd put that on a T-shirt but probably Mark Twain already said it. Jenny Lawson
