There is nothing spiritual about a marriage that uses guilt, blame, shame or religious manipulations to keep a relationship together.
When you have a plan in your mind of what the best life is for you, but it doesn't match your life, you have pain.
When you are in love you know no fear or hatred. when you are fearful there is no possibility of love or hatred. And when there is hate, there is only hate.
Lack of courage leads to cruelty.